As much as I hate to push the awesome post title from the previous post there are a few things I left out before about our colorful tour guide today. He had a few other great moments. For example
- When I asked him why there were a bunch of women dancing this morning on the river banks he replied that Chinese women retire by 50 so they dance or do tai chi to keep active. The young people call it old lady disco
- When describing the nightly dance show put on by the different tribal groups he said it is stupid and they speak in the minority dialect which even he can't understand. He also said most of the girls are not even minorities just actors dressed up in traditional clothes.
- As he described Yangshou to us he mentioned that there are lots of foreigners, lots of bars and basically said we could get laid. That was where the "the girls are so hot" line came from.
- When showing us the stalactites in the cave he would constantly say "you really have to use your imagination". His tone of voice gave the impression that he was either tired of doing this or didn't think the names given were very accurate.
- He also had no problem throwing out terms like "piss and shit" and "all bullshit".
Overall he was pretty good though. While he was very informative he was also very down to earth. Some of the other funny locals we have met include a fisherman trying to sell us a Li river cruise who continued to talk to us for 10 minutes after we said no. Also a guy that followed us down the road for a good 5 minutes trying to sell us on everything from tea, to night clubs, to massage parlors and prostitutes. Not sure what cut he got from all of that but he seemed to determined to get us to do something other than walk. At dinner there was a small band playing traditional music and 4 dancers doing everything from lantern dances to belly dancing. And the creme de la creme was the 2 old ladies who asked if we liked massages then proceeded to try to sell us some hookers with classic lines like "massage sexy", "looka looka", "special massage" and straight up "massage sex". When I told her no sex she laughed and left me alone. The kicker is I actually thought about getting a real massage to fix this pain in my left shoulder. Oh well.
