Midnight at the oasis

That is what I am calling Vegas because there is nothing on the way in or out of the city. So after checking in the day of the Narrows hike, we went out of the town for a little while. Nothing to crazy, won and lost 84 dollars on penny slots. But I got 5 free drinks out of it so I consider it an overall win. we bummed around a few of the hotels before calling in quits and going to bed around 1.

The next day in Vegas we sat around the pool and worked on our tans. Our luck with the weather continued and Vegas was unseasonably mild. The pool was fairly relaxing at around 80 degrees. At night we took a cab down the strip to the Venetian and settled in at a lounge with a cover band for a few drinks. It wasn't long before we became the prey of 2 cougars (old women for those not in the know). One of them approached us and asked if we could tell her friend we thought she was hot. Little awkward, so Justin deflected by saying he'd think about it. They attacked again a little later and asked us to dance. By this time the Jack and Cokes were kicking in so I said sure. I did my best Axl Rose dancing moves before sitting at their table and being introduced. Justin was trapped at that point so he grudgingly moved over also. We had a few more drinks, including free shots from the waitress, some more bad dance moves and then we moved on to the Wynn. Justin dropped some money in a penny slot and won 59 buck. Realizing our luck might be running out we decided to call it quits for the night, at 4:30. We said our goodbyes, listened to them tell us how hot we were and what a good dancer I am (both things I already knew) and cabbed back to our hotel. Pretty sure we made their trip and we had fun also, so no harm no foul. Once back at our place I contemplated playing craps for 40 minutes watching three blond girls play, but realized I knew nothing about the game. So I knocked over my coke on the floor and told Justin to run for it and headed for the room. Quick call to Melissa to say good morning (5:30 Vegas time = 8:30 Kentucky time) and it was time to pass out. 

Getting up at 10:30 to leave Vegas was rough. Driving through the desert with nothing in it for 4 hours to the Grand Canyon did not help. We pulled in, setup up shop, grabbed dinner at one of the restaurants in the park, finally built a good fire and made s'mores, then fell asleep. The next morning we made friends with the 2 girls camping next to us. They were recent college grads doing the cross country road trip thing. We shared some stories and recommendations and they told us a good trail to hike in the canyon. So we set out on the hike into the Canyon and I quickly realized these girls were sadist. After going 3 miles and 2000 vertical feet down into the Canyon we saw the Colorado River. 1 hour to get in turned into 3 hours to get out. I have never felt so physically exhausted in all my life. I do not recommend this hike at all. The donkeys are a much better idea. Actually I'd just stay on the rim of the canyon and look down.

Once we got out of the canyon we did the 4 hour drive to Tucson where I sit now. It is hotter than hell here so I imagine my out door adventures will die and I will start hiding from the sun again. 2 weeks until we fly out for Japan.

They call me the breeze

Ok quick update since I am in Vegas and the free alcohol and gambling with money I don't have is calling my name. We got to Andy's house in Park City, UT Wednesday night. Thursday we got our first taste of downtown and met Ross, a young drunk kid who couldn't form a coherent sentence to save his life. After rapping some gibberish for us he went on his way happy to be living the ski bum life style. Friday Justin and I checked out the Mormon temple. Mormons are very weird and Joseph Smith had one hell of an imagination (sorry if you are Mormon and reading this but you are weird). Pictures to come. Friday night Andy introduced us to Cup-O-Vodka and Rock Band. After lots of drinking and some bad singing we jumped in the Music Taxi for some more bad singing courtesy of Andy. Music Taxi is a taxi with a karaoke machine built into it. I really feel bad for the driver or at least hope he is deaf. At the bar Andy showed us his skills the ladies and his skill with throwing pizza at people. As the bar shut down we stumbled into the street for some more Music Taxi on the ride home. Again Andy gave us his best renditions of 90's favorites by Green Day. At home everyone slowly passed out 1 by 1. Saturday was mainly spent recovering and bumming around the house.

Sunday Justin and I left for Zion National Park. After arriving around 4:30 we did a 3 mile hike to the top of one of the ridges. After we got down and went to the visitor center we saw a sign for the Narrows. As the name implies the Narrows is pretty narrow. Think of the Grand Canyon but not as grand. It's 300-500 vertical cliffs with a river running through it. At times it is all river and you have to wade up the river with the water reaching chest deep at times. So Monday we got up early, rented wet suits (water was 49 degrees) and started the hike. We made it about 2 miles up river before the water got to almost chin deep. We decided that was far enough. It took about 4 hours but was well worth it. I know my description is piss poor so go see the pictures. Even these really don't do it justice. It's quite humbling to be standing in a river with water up to your chest with 500 foot walls on either side of you, 12 feet apart. I highly recommend this park and the Narrows especially for almost anyone (sorry midgets but chest deep water on me is over your head).

After the hike we loaded up and headed for Vegas. We're staying at the Luxor hoping that after getting up at 8:30 and hiking for 4 hours we can survive going out on the town. 

Steven Spielberg and Shia Lebeuf should die horrible deaths

Why must Hollywood continue to ruin classic movie franchises. Indiana Jones was the latest in a long list of Hollywood remakes/sequels/prequels that fail miserably compared to the originals. It is a terrible terrible movie and I feel bad for Harrison Ford for signing on to do it. As one review put it, it was like Die Hard 4, everything over the top and not a spec of believability that the originals had. If you like this movie please don't ever speak to me again.

Still in Park City, Utah at Andy's house. Going to see the temple later today and maybe head down to the Moab, Utah this weekend. Potentially a side trip to Vegas to either lose more money or pay for my entire trip. 

I've been to the mountaintop

And I looked over and saw empty fields forever. And then I realized I was still in Wyoming. Iowa was Mecca compared to Wyoming. Gillette was pretty much the last stop until Cody. While the country side is beautiful there is something depressing and lonesome about not seeing any signs of life for over an hour. We did get a chance to pass such gems as Emblem, WY with a population of 10. Yes they actually put up a sign for a town with a population of 10. If I killed 2 of the people I'd knock out 20% of that towns population. Stalin wouldn't have shit on me. But the drive was worth it for the landscape changes. The open fields and rolling hills gave way to the Big Horn mountains. We went from a sunny, warm 82 degrees at Buffalo, WY to a cold 54 degrees at 9800 feet on the mountaintop. We got out real quick for pictures and got back in real quick when we saw the guy sledding with his kids and carrying a gun on his hip. Strange people. Coming down the mountain, the snow receded and gave way to amazing cliffs, canyons and valleys. At the bottom it turned into a of rocky desert with small towns every 30-60 miles apart. Cody seemed to be the last stop before Yellowstone and was a decent size town.

The way into Yellowstone follows a river which seems to be speckled with campsites and strategically placed wildlife. We saw goats, deer, a moose and lots of buffalo. One buffalo was walking down the side of the road so we stopped and asked if he needed a ride. He didn't answer so I called him an asshole and told him to get out of the road. I think by dumb luck we picked a great time to go into Yellowstone. The roads were clear but there was just enough snow left to make the drive beautiful. The main lake was still frozen over and with the snow capped mountains it made for a great visual experience. It also helped that we hit it at a unseasonably warm weekend, so 72 degrees worked out well. We made out way from the west entrance to the Mammoth/Hot Springs area near the north entrance. Mammoth was littered with elk walking around town and the elk shit on the ground at our campsite pretty much ensured we'd see some animals. We setup the tent, cooked dinner (which turned out well thanks to the new stove from Mr. Moto) and turned in for the night.

In the morning we decided that we should try to see the big five: elk, buffalo, wolf, moose and the ever elusive hot chic. The herd of buffalo walking 20 yards from our campsite covered one. Kind of weird to see 200 buffalo walk by you then stop at the ranger houses and eat their grass. Driving down to Old Faithful we saw some more elk milling about in town as well as what could have been a wolf but was more likely a coyote. The moose from the day before left only the hot chic (and the search for that secretive beast continues).

Again by dumb luck we arrived at Old Faithful about 2 minutes before it popped, saving us from having to wait for 90 minutes between explosions. The geyser itself was predictable... After paying to much for a bad lunch at the cafeteria we drove on through the Grand Teton National Park which had some great scenery but we were starting to get mountained out. We passed through Jackson then climbed another mountain to cut across into Idaho. By this point I was kind of sick of the Rockies. We stopped for the night in Idaho Falls.

Monday we drove from from Idaho Falls to Pocatello (which we referred to as Padonkadonk instead). We passed through an Indian Reservation which was everything I hoped: broke down trailers and a casino. We saw a sign for the Idaho Potato Museum in Blackfoot and after a quick look at each other knew we had to stop. I learned more about potatoes than I cared to know and got a free box of freeze dried hash browns (whoever's birthday is next is getting a present from the road!). 

Ok so this is way to long already. We continued to the Lava Hot Springs which was a total waste of time and disappointment. We then took the Oregon Trail scenic byway past Bear Lake and into Utah. We watched lightning strike a tree in Cache National Forest and realized camping tonight might be a bad idea. So we pulled into Logan, UT and our favorite hotel chain Super 8. Tomorrow we go to Salt Lake City to hang out with Andy for a few days. New pictures from Yellowstone and Idaho on Flickr.

Brokeback Sightseeing

I'm to tired to not be funny so this will be quick. The day started with a venture to Mt. Rushmore. It was pretty interesting and we did the picture thing. Also ran into a British guy who has been going around the world. After hearing about his trip ours kicks his ass. After Rushmore it was off to Crazy Horse with a quick stop-over in Custer. Not much to see there. Crazy Horse was pretty spectacular. When you realize the scale it kind of blows your mind. His head alone could fit all of Rushmore inside it and the whole thing is about twice the height of Washington Monument. When done it will be largest sculpture in the world, bigger than the pyramids. The scale is also what is stopping it from ever being done. Little did I know that it started in the 1940's and so far they only have the face done. At this rate it may be done by 2100. The sculptor who died in '82 was a pretty interesting guy himself. He went from clean cut Boston guy to Grizzly Adams over the 40 years he lived there. 7 of his 10 kids still live and work on the sculpture. 

After Crazy Horse was Deadwood. For those that don't know Deadwood was a booming gold mining town in the late 1800's. After succumbing to fire multiple times over the years the town was growing old and dilapidated. The residents had a grand idea of how to restore the town...gambling! It's now turned into another gimmicky, trashy, gambling town. The most interesting part was seeing the old graveyard where Seth Bullock, Calamity Jane and Wild Bill Hikock are buried. The whole town sits in the middle of the Black Hills, the same as Keystone, and it makes you wonder why people ever settled there or stayed when the gold ran out.

Towards the end of the night we headed to Devil's Tower, quite possibly one of the coolest nature wonders I have ever seen. It stands ~845 feet high which is hard to fathom. Check out the pictures to see the scale with us (we are hard to spot, look for a red dot in the bottom right of one of the pictures). It was the first national park in the US, designated by Roosevelt. We got some good shots as the sun set.

We are now in Gilette, Wyoming, pretty much the only town in Wyoming besides Cheyenne. Off to Yellowstone tomorrow. About 100 new pictures added to the link to the side.

...where the buffalo (don't) roam and gimmicky shit all the way...

Well the Corn Palace was...corny. You knew it was coming, don't act surprised. Go ahead let a little laugh out, no one can see. The original Corn Palace started in the early 1900's and after nearly 100 years it still sucks. They spend $100,000 bucks each year to build this thing in bum fuck South Dakota, for no reason but to bring in some tourist. To make it worse the high school has to play their basketball games in this place. If I was a visiting team I wouldn't care if I lost cause these assholes have to play their games in the Corn Palace. I'd lose on purpose just make them feel a little better.

After the Corn Palace we tried to go to the Prehistoric Indian Village hoping to see something cool. We saw a single building on about 2000 sq feet of land, bordered by the town cemetery and a golf course. So much for respecting ancient Indian heritage.

After two dismal failures of sightseeing we continued on down the road on the trail of tears. I got pulled over for doing 82 in a 75. The cop was pretty nice about it and only gave me a warning. But I get the feeling he saw Virginia tags, 2 grungy guys and assumed something bad. He made it a point to ask me if I was carrying drugs and saying he had the right to walk his dog around the car to sniff. I confessed to having my Typhoid and Malaria drugs in the car which probably confused him so he didn't sniff the car.

There was very little to see along the way except the signs for Wall Drug (which we will get to) and 1880's village. To break up the monotony of plains and sky we stopped at 1880's village. I assumed it would be in some small town with food, gas and some other random shops. Silly me, it was quite literally a reconstructed 1880's town in the middle of no where, just off the highway. I can't do it much justice here so go see the pictures. But when their big draw is the horse from Dances with Wolves (which died August of last year) you know it can't be anything great. We took goofy pictures and got out of town headed for the Badlands.

As you get closer to the Badlands the fields give way to grazing plains and rolling hills. On a clear day the surroundings do have a beauty about them and the solitude is relaxing. Entering the Badlands is pretty amazing. The erosion has created some rather amazing landscape that stretches as far as the eye can see. We walked about a mile in to see the full breadth of the landscape. It really was pretty amazing to see and to be standing in the middle of it with the wind blowing hard was a unique experience. Halfway through the park we noticed a small animal run across the road. When I stopped the car we noticed it was prairie dogs and they stretched forever into the distance. It was thousands of them in the fields poking their heads up and running around. Kind of funny to see. Overall a pretty neat park and nowhere near deserving of he name Badlands, unless you tried to live there. Justin behaved himself so I didn't have to leave him there either.

After leaving the Badlands we stopped in Wall, home of Wall Drug. We'd been seeing signs for it over the past 300 miles, reminiscent of South of the Border between NC and SC. And it was equally as bad. All sorts of touristy trap crap not worth the money used to make it. And we couldn't even find the free ice water.

Leaving Wall the landscape drastically changes again as you near Rapid City and the Black Hills. The rolling hills and plains give way to mountains and dark pine trees. We pulled into Keystone for the night, a small town just below Rushmore, quite literally sitting in between the surrounding hills. We loaded up on buffalo prime rib (good) at the local diner and settled in for the night. 

South Dakota has proved interesting to say the least, much more so than the initial reaction. A little gimmicky at times but it makes for fun pictures (which we took a ton of) and funny stories.  Tomorrow we do Rushmore, Deadwood, and maybe make it to Yellowstone.

Corn Palace?

So I was right about nothing exciting happening before Mt. Rushmore... except for the Corn Palace! After leaving Missouri I was ready for the boredom of the Missouri country side having been to Kansas City before. What I was not ready for was the monotony of Iowa. I honestly could not tell you one thing we saw in Iowa that was not a farm or field. We passed through Omaha in about 30 seconds and Sioux City in even less. Our original plan to stop in Sioux Falls went out the window when we started seeing signs for the Corn Palace. I had seen this before on some travel channel show and figured it was hokey enough to stop at. So we detoured into Sioux Fall for dinner and a stop at the falls the city is named for. For some odd reason the main street of the town was lined with small statues, some cool, some very odd. I grabbed a picture of 3 dancing pigs because it was 3 dancing pigs. We walked the whole downton (about 3 blocks) then jumped in the car and headed for the Corn Palace.

Now when I said Iowa was bad, I had not seen South Dakota. It literally was nothing but fields and big sky. Highway 90 cuts across the state connecting Sioux Falls to Rapid City, with very little in between. When making this drive Apocalypse Now comes to mind with the line "Don't get off the boat". Much the same, you should not get off the highway. We made the mistake of getting off for gas about 60 miles from Sioux Falls. Little did we know that the town was 5 miles from the highway, obscured by fields. The whole town smelled of manure and everyone seemed to be sitting on their front lawn (frankly there didn't seem to be much else to do). We stood out like a sore thumb with gigantism. I am sure the Virginia license plate didn't help. We quickly jumped back in the car and headed back to highway, convinced that this would be the last time we left the highway.

So now we sit in a Motel 8 (our hotel of choice recently) in Mitchell, South Dakota, about 10 feet from the highway. Tomorrow we brave the Corn Palace, the Prehistoric Indian Village and Wall Drug. Anticipation so high I am not sure how I will sleep tonight.

New pictures on Flickr and I added a direct link to the front page over to the right.

Back in the saddle again...

Where to start. I guess the beginning would make sense. So last Wednesday I said my good-byes to Granny with a promise to stop by on the way back to DC in October to give her a first hand account of my trip. A quick stop to say hi to Becky (hi Becky!) in Cincinnati and lunch/dinner at a great neighborhood bar with an amazing view of the whole city and I was on my way to Lexington, KY. In Lexington we went to a medical school party where I watched 40 drunk soon to be doctors burn their lab coats on a 4 foot bonfire on a peacock farm. I realize after writing that how odd and maybe exciting it sounds. While it was odd, it wasn't quite that exciting. It poured rain and after driving 5 hours I wasn't really in the drinking mood so I played sober driver to the midget and Justin. Thursday we did a tour of the Woodford Reserve Distillery. It was pretty interesting and I finally learned the difference between whiskey, bourbon and scotch (yes I didn't know this before). The free sample at the end was a little to much for my palette, but I could tell it was a smooth bourbon and I would recommend it. We wrapped up Thursday with Iron Man and I was pleasantly surprised which is always good with comic book movies.

Friday we did...hmm... apparently nothing memorable.

Saturday was graduation day. After getting up early we did the hour drive back to Lexington for a 10am brunch. After brunch came the ceremony where the message of the day was "be nice". It sounds simple but I agreed with the speaker. Too many people seem to forget this simple manner, myself included at times. So for anyone reading this, remember to be nice and do something nice for someone today. But enough soap boxing. After the ceremony it was back to Louisville to party. Mr. Moto never let the margarita machine stop and I learned that his singing skills have been passed on to his daughters thanks to a late night, drunk Rock Band session. Apparently I never let the Jack Daniel's stop flowing that night either. From my memory I finished about 1/4th of the bottle, but everyone else and the bottle seem to remember me drinking half. This probably explains why I spent most of Sunday feeling pretty green and I am sure the deviled eggs didn't help (but they were delicious). 

Monday was spent packing Melissa out of her apartment. You'd be amazed at how much 1 person can fit into a 900 sq foot apartment. Lucky for her she is moving on up, to the east side, to a deluxe apartment on the second floor with 2 bedrooms. Hopefully the $500 in Bed Bath and Beyond gift cards can help her fill it with some new lamps. 

Wednesday we packed it all in again and hit the road, heading west. I passed through St. Louis for the 5th and hopefully final time in my life. But being the gateway to the West it was kind of required. To jump back a few post to lessons learned on the highway, the midwest is full of adult stores on the highway. So either people in the midwest are highly sexual or truck drivers get very lonely. Either one makes my stomach turn.

So now we're in Columbia, MO for a pit stop. Tomorrow is the another long haul to Sioux City. I don't anticipate anything exciting happening before Rapid City and the Badlands, so don't expect anything new for a bit.

Recap

Just to quickly recap the past few days. Wednesday after arriving in Louisville I got my haircut, oil changed and passport photos. Not exactly exciting. Thursday I played pin cushion and received 5 shots in my right arm. Being almost a needle phobe it sucked, but on the plus side I am now immune to death. After that we went to Lexington to hang out with Melissa (where the little jerk punched me in the arm hoping to hurt me. but she picked the wrong arm). Friday night we went downtown to 4th St in Louisville. Being Derby week they had a free out door concert and everything was packed. We ducked into Howl at the Moon and watched the dueling pianos for the night. A little more gimicky than Pat Obriens but still fun. Saturday was derby day and we went to Huber winery in southern Indiana for a Derby Party. It was held in a "barn" at the vineyard/orchard, complete with bookies, food, and games. I didnt bet on any horses but Justin's mom and sister made a few bucks on some of the races. After the party everyone went back to Justin's parent's house for some Rock Band. Mr. Martorano did a unique rendition of Foreplay/Long Time by Boston that I won't soon forget. Sunday morning I packed up and headed to New Castle for a few days of relaxing with Granny in preparation of the grueling road trip across the US to come.